When my husband and I finally decided to complete our family with one more baby, there were a few things that I HAD to do differently this time around.
My previous 3 pregnancy’s were all different. My first son Connor, I had at 19. A pretty uneventful pregnancy and a pretty typical vaginal delivery but he was taken from me because the cord wrapped around his neck and he was having trouble breathing. 7 years later, at 26 Jaxon was conceived. His pregnancy was filled with back problems, swollen feet, high blood pressure and the dreaded pre-eclampsia. Labor was beyond horrifying. I was on an iv of magnesium for potential seizures and was induced. I thankfully only labored hard with him for about two hours and then pushed him out in 3 pushes.
Unfortunately though the doctors broke his clavicle to get him out so again my baby was whisked away to be checked on. 15 short months later, surprise! Cameron was conceived. Cameron’s pregnancy made Jaxon’s look like a cake walk. At 7 weeks I found out I was pregnant with triplets but there was only 1 heart beat. I went to the U of M for other concerns but was eventually given the ok to go back to my original doctor. I was still having problems though. My migraines were vicious and my high blood pressure reared it’s ugly head again. I was induced at 35 weeks. A nurse delivered Cameron with no epidural and no pushing. He too was taken immediately and brought to the nicu for a stay of a week. All three of these pregnancy’s were vastly different but my 4th would top them all, but in a good way!
I want to spread hope to other women that it is possible to have a great trauma-free pregnancy and delivery. I got mine with Stephanie from How 2 Mom!
June of 2019 we got our positive! Our last baby to complete our family. I’m pretty sure Stephanie was one of the first people I told. We had grown up together in Minneapolis and attended the same school. I hadn’t talked to or seen her ages but followed her on instagram on her journey of becoming a doula. I knew the moment I was pregnant that she would be part of my journey. We met up a couple weeks later and we went through EVERYTHING. All about past pregnancy’s, medical history, my traumas, fears and my family. My main thing that I told her is that I wanted a voice for me. I really felt that my wishes were not met for my last two children. My goals were this: 1. Get an epidural. With Cameron they refused to give me one until I reached a certain point and wouldn’t you know it was too late! 2. One of the most important things was I wanted my baby right after they were born and to not be taken away only if a serious situation were apparent. 3. I wanted to encapsulate my placenta. I had heard great things about it helping with regulating hormones and helping with postpartum depression. Stephanie assured me that she would make sure, to the best of her abilities that would would make these things happen.
I walked away feeling like I had just made the best decision ever!
Now just telling my husband and making sure he understood that he wasn’t getting replaced or over shadowed. When I told him, honestly, he was not on board. But Stephanie to the rescue! She came over one evening to meet the family and more importantly go over everything and answer any questions that James and I may have. She told my husband ‘not only am I here to support Courtney, but I’m here to support you as well.’ Stephanie really made us feel like we were BOTH important. That James’ position would not change in the labor and delivery room, but that she was there to help out in any and every way.
Our next meeting as my date approached, was filled with so much useful information. From laboring techniques, to exercises to move the baby (he was breech of course), to writing out my birth plan. I don’t think my family and I could have ever or have ever received so much personal attention and advise. Stephanie was my ‘secret sauce’ that I had been missing from all my previous pregnancy’s.
Stephanie was my "secret sauce" that I had been missing from my previous pregnancies.
Most moms get nervous and anxious towards their 3rd trimester, not going to lie, I was a tad, but I was more ready than I had ever been before! November and December came and they were probably two of the hardest months of my life. My mom had been diagnosed with cancer and underwent major surgery. She was receiving chemo and would not be able to be at my birth like she had done the last 3. As she told me that she also said ‘now I understand why you said you felt so strongly about having a doula but you just didn’t know why. It was like fate was pushing you towards her (Stephanie) because I couldn’t be there to be with you.’ She was right. My intuitions had served me correctly. And then I had others who would say, ‘why would you need a doula? This is your 4th kid!’ Or ‘isn’t that what your husband is for?’ People could think what they wanted (especially since I live in a small town) I knew why I wanted a doula.
I knew I wanted someone to support me and my family and no one will understand that fully until you have your own wonderful experience with a doula.
That December Stephanie was there for me 110%. Every time I had a doctors appointment she wanted to know how it went. How was my blood pressure, the baby etc. As we were getting closer to my induction date, Stephanie would constantly remind me that James or I could call or text if we needed anything. She never forgot about my husband ever and that I know he appreciated.
January 17th, 2020 came. The day was here to welcome our last baby in! I was getting induced for the 4th time. I have a habit of going from 3-10 centimeters quickly, so Stephanie wanted to make sure she was there shortly after I had got settled in and induced.
I was so happy when she arrived! Even just her entering the room a sense of relief came over me.
She showed us everything she brought to make my labor more relaxing. She also spoke to the nurses right away about who she was and what my requests were. Now was just the waiting game. We walked laps around the hospital, I took a bath with essential oils and did the peanut ball and the techniques we had been practicing. I finally made it to the point where I could get my epidural. We had successfully made goal 1! But to my surprise this baby would not be here in any such hurry!
Friday came and left. I felt so bad that Stephanie had been there for so long. When I expressed my sorrow for thinking this baby would be shooting out of me, she said it didn’t matter how long it would take and she would be here no matter what. I was getting very tired from laboring for so long and it did get to the point of us discussing a backup plan. Thankfully we didn’t have to use it, but if she hadn’t been there to help us think it through we would have gone along with whatever the doctors would have told us to do which could have, in my opinion ended in a c section.
Fast forward a very long sleepless night for all, to about 730am Saturday morning. Almost 24 hours of being in labor! Side note, ladies don’t believe what they say about delivery getting easier the more you have. Complete lie! Anyways, I was finally ready! And boy did my epidural decide to quit at the perfect time. This was by far the worst labor pains I had ever felt, but I knew I had to push forward, literally. When it came time, my husband was on my right side and Stephanie was on my left. I remember looking at my husband and it almost looked like he had tears in his eyes. Later on he would tell me that he felt so helpless. I was in so much pain and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. I was screaming. I remember saying, “I can’t do it. I just can’t do it.” I seriously thought they would just have to c section him out of me. I was so scared, tired, and in pain I almost gave up.
Then all of a sudden I hear Stephanie saying "you're safe. Your baby is safe. You can do this. Breathe."
And with those words, I gave it a huge push and there was Jameson Louis! For the first time ever, my baby was placed on my chest! Goal #2 complete! I had done it! With the help of my husband and doula I was crushing the goals I had set.
I delivered my placenta shortly after Jameson’s birth and right away the nurses had forgotten my request for it to be saved. Stephanie did not hesitate to speak up and say ‘hey she wants that!’ I remember the nurse looking at me and saying with a shaming tone ‘well you need to fill out a form for that.’ Stephanie didn’t hesitate to chime in with our city girl grit and firmly told her that I had already filled it out and instructed her to give us the placenta. We got it and within minutes it was in the cooler. Goal #3 success!
A couple of days later Stephanie came by with my placenta pills (which worked wonders by the way!) and a bag full of teas, balms and creams. We went thru what my postpartum journey would look like and how James and I were feeling about the last couple of days. I honestly at that point couldn’t have thanked her enough for what she had done for our family.
And it was completed in a way that I could never imagined, all because of Stephanie.
There really was no short way around for this review. For so many reasons I could recommend Stephanie and How 2 Mom, but I included the best ones in the story above. I now recommend a doula to any pregnant families I know. It’s not only support for mom, but the whole family. If you want someone to share in your pregnancy journey that truly care and supports you, choose a doula from How 2 Mom. If you want someone who will go the extra mile for you like putting chapstick on your aching lips from having the oxygen mask on for too long or making sure you and your husband have stayed hydrated and have eaten by making you ‘energy balls’ or weathering a snow storm just to come early for your delivery or stays up 24 hours to support you, then choose How 2 Mom.
There is nothing more important than when you are in the most vulnerable, stressful, painful and life altering situation and hearing the words "you're safe." Those words I will never forget. They are what got me through.
Thank you, Stephanie for helping me conquer one last pregnancy and close a chapter in my life that I thought I would never be able to handle again.
Much Love,
Courtney Berry
Photos taken by the wonderful and talented, Andrea Luna, Photographer on the How 2 Mom Team!
