"I want abs! How do I get abs?"
This is an all too common question that I get all the time. Does having a flatter stomach mean we’ll feel more confident in our swimsuits? Does it mean we’ll finally stop talking negatively about ourselves? Maybe it’s because it’ll make us feel more attractive?
A lot of my clients lack confidence because of the way they feel about their stomachs since having babies…and I know all too well, because I’ve had three children too, so I get it. A six pack used to be my goal too, but I never asked myself why I wanted one.
Our stomachs go through so much when it comes to pregnancy, that’s the area where we get hit the hardest. It’s also about allowing ourselves grace through the process, it takes 9 months to grow a baby, but yet we don’t expect it to take at least that long for our bodies to come back.
There was a time in my life that I didn’t even want kids, because I was afraid of what pregnancy would do to my body and what it would do to my independence.
After having my third child, I realized that I’d been really only giving myself half-ass self care. I was deeply depressed during his pregnancy, but not because I was pregnant, it was because I was so negative toward myself.
It was a month after having Jace, I was standing in front of the mirror, in a sports bra and shorts, judging myself. Saying things like, “That’s too big. You should be thinner by now. You’re a fitness and wellness coach, c’mon“.
All these unrealistic expectations…when my husband, Eric, walked in to grab something off of the dresser. All he said was, “I’m going to throw that damn mirror away“. Shocked, I asked, “Why“? “Because you’re always looking at it.” and walked out.
It was at that moment that I realized all the horrible things I was saying about myself…and I had two choices: I could continue being my own worst enemy or I could be my best friend.
Since I’ve had several years experience with the first one, I figured I’d try something different and opt for the second.
I started writing affirmations on my mirror…the opposite of what I was actually saying about myself, so I had to at least look at those first, before I skipped straight to the self-judgement.
I still remember the first time I said them to myself out loud looking into my eyes in front of my bathroom mirror. I cried because I had never said anything nice about myself before.
I actually had a client who told me she gained 50 pounds with her first pregnancy and was self-conscious of her stomach right away. She remembers trying to wear compression-like clothing to try to hide it. She said to me, “No one ever talks about how much time it will take it to go back to normal once you have your baby“.
My client wanted quick results without doing it the right way and potentially harming herself in the process. I helped her find a balance between fitness, family, and food.
Here are some simple exercises that you can do everyday to start strengthening your core:
Secondly, focusing on your abs are not always going to do the trick; it’s also about incorporating these three things as well:
1. Work Your Whole Body
Exercising big muscle groups (back, legs, shoulders) will also work your abs if you engage them in the process.
2. Clean Up Your Diet
If you’ve ever heard the term “abs are made in the kitchen”-it’s because it’s true. 80% of your results will come from your diet.
3. HIIT It Real Good
You do not need to run for hours or spend half of your day on the elliptical. In fact, my suggestion would be to lift first, then do 15-20 minutes of HIIT afterwards.
I help moms make time for themselves by helping them make their fitness & nutrition a priority. I use fitness as a launching pad to help you become powerful in the guy and in life. It’s creating a life that’s fit for purpose…it isn’t about your appearance (that’s a bonus), it’s about being healthy from the inside out and working on all aspects: mind, body and spirit. By doing that, you will have more energy for your family, feel like you’re in control of your life, and become more present…knowing you can still be a great mom, while taking care of yourself.
It’s more important to pay attention to the little things: like your clothes getting looser, being able to move up to bigger weights or certain exercises becoming easier, than the number on the scale.
Action Items:
1. Get a notecard or piece of paper and write down the feelings of what your goal will give you.
2. Start making a list of things that you can do everyday that bring you those feelings.
3. Make it a priority to do at least 2-3 every single day.
By aligning yourself with good, positive feelings, you can naturally start taking steps toward your goals. You will only get to where you want to go, by loving yourself completely as you are now, with zero expectations and no exceptions.
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