I think we can all quickly answer why body safety rules are important for our kids, but I’m going to take some time in this blog’s introduction to go into a little more detail, and take this opportunity to begin to share my story. I want to get personal so that people can relate and/or realize the depth of the importance of this topic.
When my daughter, McKenzie, was about two, I realized I needed some help with my parenting around trust. I’d been through some hard experiences, including abuse by a family member, and I started noticing that my past was impacting my parenting. I’d catch myself in moments where my fears and worries would get in the way—sometimes in big ways, sometimes just beneath the surface.
It hit me that, while my intentions were good, I didn’t want to pass my fears on to McKenzie. I didn’t want her growing up with my trust issues, or one day resenting me for being overly protective. So, with the support of the ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education) Parent Education program, I took a brave step and asked for help. I was determined to find that balance—keeping my kids safe, without letting fear run the show. And that’s exactly what this guide is about.
8 Body Safety Rules for Kids
1. No one is allowed to touch your private parts.
Your body belongs to YOU, and your private parts are just that—private. This rule is about helping kids understand that it’s okay to set boundaries, even with adults or people they know. No one should touch or ask to see their private parts, and if someone does, it’s important to tell a trusted adult.
2. You should not touch someone else’s private parts.
This rule teaches respect for others’ personal space and helps kids understand boundaries in both directions. Just like no one should touch their private parts, they should also know it’s not okay to touch anyone else’s. This creates a mutual respect that kids can carry into all relationships.
3. No one is allowed to take pictures of your private parts.
4. If someone tries to touch your private parts, say 'no.'
This rule empowers kids to stand up for themselves if they ever feel uncomfortable. Practicing saying “no” loudly and clearly can give them confidence if they’re ever in an uncomfortable situation. It’s their right to protect their body by saying “no.”
5. When playing with friends, play with your clothes on.
Kids love to play, and reminding them to keep their clothes on during playtime helps reinforce boundaries in a simple way. This rule gives children an easy guideline that’s appropriate for every type of play, helping them understand safe play habits.
6. You are allowed to have privacy when bathing, dressing, and using the toilet.
Privacy is a part of growing up, and kids should know that it’s okay to ask for it. This rule encourages kids to feel comfortable setting boundaries and reassures them that having private moments is natural and respected.
7. You have permission to say 'no' and get away if someone breaks these rules.
8. We don’t keep secrets in our family.
Secrets can be confusing for kids, so making it clear that your family doesn’t keep secrets builds a foundation of openness and trust. Encourage kids to always share anything that makes them feel uneasy, reminding them that they’ll always be supported when they come to you.
Have you read the book Off Limits?
My wonderful ECFE program got me in touch right away with a Health Education Director from Family Tree Clinic who shared these Body Rules with me. She also suggested the book, Off Limits. She thanked me for being an advocate for my daughter and also gave me tools to implement to prevent future issues rather than living in fear.
She also went on to tell me that sexual abuse of children is a very real danger, from big cities to rural towns. But by following the practical advice in Off Limits, parents and teachers responsible for the safety and welfare of children – from toddlers to teens – can make their children’s worlds much safer. The book, written by two leading experts on sexual abuse prevention, gives an understanding of what child sexual abuse is; wo sexually abuses children; how to recognize warning signs that someone may be sexually abusing a child; ow and where abusers gain sexual access to children; how abusers keep their victims quiet; how to help a child who has been sexually abused; how to help a child who is abusing other children; and how to keep children safe from abuse.
This book and her guidance gave me the confidence and the ability to protect my kids effectively. Some of it is how we talk with our children about sexuality, and part of it is showing other people that we are a parent who is actively aware and paying close attention. This is really effective at warding off potential predators, because children are not chosen at random. Rather, they are selected carefully. Sexual predators seek out kids who seem to not know anything about sex, and whose parents don’t seem to be paying attention. Predators are very good at not getting caught, and they tend not to take risks when there is a chance that a parent will notice something is up or a kid will tell.
Additional Resources:
Here it directly from me:
I know this is a tough subject, and the thought of our kids being in a bad position is sickening. But I am on a mission to help educate other parents. Raising kids is a lot and it’s hard to think of it all, especially if you don’t have a history of sexual assault. We are all trying our best and it takes a village. It doesn’t only happen to absent parents. It can happen to any of us, but this advice could prevent it and give you the tools to not have to parent in fear.
Set up a Parenthood Coaching Session with Stephanie Sinclair today to address this subject and how to implement these rules in your home. Or, be on the lookout for our Parenting without Fear Presentation coming soon!
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