After many weeks of eager anticipation, it was decided that March 16th would be the day that Stephanie would start the journey to meet her babies. I headed down to Woodwinds and, although I’m not a very religious person, I said a prayer to the universe that, whatever the day might bring, Stephanie and her babies would be healthy. As I got nearer to the hospital, I saw something a bald eagle in the sky. It was so strange because it seemed to be following the road to the hospital. It stayed above me for about a mile, until I pulled into the parking lot, and then flew on. In my mind, this had to be a good sign. When I arrived in Stephanie’s room around 8:30AM, she was being monitored, and the babies looked perfect. Also, Stephanie looked absolutely gorgeous—yes, her hair and makeup were done beautifully, but it was more than that. She looked so peaceful and ready for her birth. We spent a long time chatting with each other and with the amazing nurses. It felt so cozy and calm in the room. Dr. Hallman came in and found that he wasn’t able to break Deacon’s water because he was a little high, so he asked if Stephanie was OK starting a very low dose of pitocin and seeing if some contractions might bring him down a little. Stephanie agreed to starting with the lowest dose possible. After many hours consisting of lots of chatting, some eating, a set of inversion, sifting, and side-lying release on both sides, hourly bumps of pitocin, and contractions that Stephanie described as “pressure, but not painful”, Dr. Hallman came in to check again and was able to break Deacon’s water. It was about 5:30PM. Stephanie’s contractions changed pretty quickly. I watched her during some of the first ones and her breathing had deepened and changed. She found a comfortable position on the birth ball (after we let out a lot of air!) and seemed to like having a hand on her lower back with a little pressure. Not too long after her contractions changed, her family arrived to visit. Her mom immediately got tears in her eyes—happy, proud tears—and Bob looked so proud of his girl. Kenzie was a little sleepy but wanted to snuggle her mommy. That was one of the sweetest moments, I thought, because I knew Stephanie gets so much comfort from Kenzie, and had some complex and deep emotions around welcoming her babies, and what that would mean for their relationship. Seeing their love, and Stephanie’s instincts to mother and nurture even while laboring to bring her babies into their family, was intensely sweet. Stephanie’s labor continued to intensify quickly after her family left. She found the most comfort while standing, leaning over the bed, and letting her belly hang. I loved that this position—so active and effective—was comfortable for her. I stood next to her with a reassuring hand on her back, and Brian leaned across the bed to be face-to-face with his wife. Brian would often tell Stephanie that she was doing a great job, and was so strong and assuring throughout this intense period. Stephanie made a trip to the bathroom and found that her labor intensified while she was on the toilet, and she sat through several contractions there before returning to her standing position by the bed. We kept the lavender essential oil diffusing throughout the room and the lights were low. Stephanie had the music she wanted and looked calm during and between her contractions. Her contractions were now coming every 3 minutes or closer, and it had only been a little over 90 minutes since her water broke. Stephanie requested nitrous and it was set up quickly. She found some relief almost right away from using the nitrous. She said that she could still feel things and the peak of each contraction was still intense, but it took away some of the intensity of the buildup. I was so happy that it worked well for her. She labored like this—using the nitrous, standing and swaying, wanting her team around her as she breathed through each contraction—until about 7:45PM. There were moments where I felt like the intensity was picking up, and the contractions were coming very quickly now. They were almost right on top of each other. Around this time, Stephanie said she wanted an epidural for the first time. I knew that her labor was intense and the contractions were so fast—2 minutes apart—and we talked a little about it between contractions. Stephanie was concerned about pushing out both of her babies, that she wouldn’t be strong enough to do that. We reassured her that if she wanted it, it was there for her to have, but that she was so strong and that we believed that she could push out both babies. Stephanie had told me often that she missed out on the feeling of needing to push, or the feeling of birthing Kenzie, and that she had an intense desire to feel and know and understand that sensation. I reminded her that she had pushed out Kenzie in less than half an hour, which is an amazing feat for a first-time mom. She agreed and continued to labor, but after a little while, she asked about an epidural again. The nurse got everything ready to go and called Dr. Hallman. The anesthesiologist came in after 15 minutes or so and said that, actually, he wouldn’t be able to place the epidural until Stephanie’s nitrous had been removed for another 15 minutes. Stephanie was very reluctant to give up the nitrous and said she’d rather keep the nitrous, then. Dr. Hallman arrived shortly after this, around 8:40PM, and Stephanie’s labor was very intense. I thought she might having a little bit of an urge to push—she was starting to bear down a little during the peak of her contractions. He requested that he be able to check her cervix to see if there was still time for the epidural, or if they needed to start setting up the OR. Stephanie was able to get into bed with some assistance from Brian, and he was able to check her. She had just a bit of her cervix left, and was a 9—he said her cervix was melting away as he felt it. He told her she was about to go meet her baby boy, and that there wasn’t the time for an epidural because he thought she would push out her baby before they had a chance to place it. I called Stephanie’s mom and told her to come to the hospital. We headed into the OR, which was bright and full of people. Dr. Hallman immediately asked one of the nurses to dim the lights. Brian stood right next to Stephanie and continued to offer his strength and reassurance. I had grabbed a cotton ball and soaked it with a little lavender, so I held that under Stephanie’s nose as they got everything rearranged. Stephanie asked about the nitrous, but the nurses didn’t think they could bring it into the OR as there wasn’t the right kind of outlet (or…something like that). Dr. Hallman assured her that her baby was right there and that there wasn’t time for it, anyway. He asked her to try a little push and was really happy with the amount of movement he saw. I went to the other side of the bed so I could take a couple of photos (despite a nurse trying to get me to go to the other end to avoid the graphic bits, which Stephanie assured her she wanted to see!). Stephanie tried her first push at just after 9PM and sweet baby Deacon came into the world crying and strong at 9:11PM. He was placed on Stephanie’s chest immediately, and it was overwhelming (I’m wiping away tears as I write about this, honestly). He was this tiny, perfect little baby, and Stephanie had birthed him so strongly and gently, and now he was here. There was more work to be done, but in this moment, Stephanie was able to just meet and bask in her baby. Deacon stayed with Stephanie for a long time. Stephanie’s mom came and I met her in the hallway and brought her into the OR. She was so in awe of her daughter, and so completely overcome with love right away for her grandson. She said, “You are the strongest woman I know, Stephanie.” Stephanie replied, “You did this.” And her mom said, “I’ve had a baby, but I’ve never done this.” I had a lot of the same thoughts—each birth is different, but Stephanie was doing this twice. Not just birthing two babies, but having the overwhelming experience of becoming a mother again, but twice. This was something so special, so sacred, and so intense, and I felt honored to be in that room as Stephanie did it. After about 45 minutes, Brynley began to make her move, and one of the nurses came to take Deacon to the warmer. He was 6lbs 9oz! During the next couple of contractions, Stephanie began to push. Soon after she began, Dr. Hallman noted that Brynley’s heartrate was dipping during contractions, but that it was recovering nicely. Stephanie was tired, and her back was hurting in the position she was in. She requested the nitrous again, and again, was told that they couldn’t bring it into the OR. She asked Dr. Hallman about an epidural, but he said there probably wouldn’t be time and that it might slow things down. He was very closely watching the heart rate monitor. One of the nurses went out to see if she could find an extension cord for the nitrous, and around 10:15PM, they figured out that one of the outlets would, in fact, work. So, Stephanie got the nitrous back, which seemed to give her a little relief. Her mom went to be with Deacon in the nursery. At some point not long after that, one of the nurses came in to ask Stephanie if she was comfortable with Deacon getting a little donor milk. I asked if we could try to express some colostrum for Deacon instead, and both the nurse and I tried, but we were unable to get anything out. Stephanie agreed to this, although I knew she was reluctant to have him get other milk. I reassured her this wouldn’t affect their nursing relationship and that he would still get her essential colostrum. My heart ached a little for her, but I was confident that this was a good decision. Breastfeeding is so much more than milk—it is the smell, the feel, and the sound of the baby’s mother that he responds to, and he had already skin-to-skin time with Stephanie, and he’d have so much time to nurse again soon. I knew it was a hard decision to let him have donor milk, and I was so proud of her for having made it. Shortly after this, Dr. Hallman asked everyone to prepare for a Cesarean. He was watching Brynley’s heart rate and wanted to be able to move quickly if he needed to. Brian and I put on the OR gear that covered our clothing, shoes, and faces. An internal heart rate monitor was placed so they could get an accurate reading of Brynley’s heart rate. Stephanie was getting tired and she was starting to feel discouraged. Brian and I, along with the team of nurses, were trying to help her stay energized and positive. Stephanie tried lying on her side and doing some pushes in that position, and the nurse and I were able to massage her hips and thighs between contractions. Brynley was making some progress down, but she was also seeming to get a little stuck at the pubic bone and her heart rate was dipping down into the low 50s during pushes. Dr. Hallman said if Stephanie could push her a little lower, he’d be able to give her a little help with the vaccuum. After a lot more pushing, he tried to get the vaccuum on, but couldn’t quite reach Brynley. Stephanie pushed for a few more contractions, and Dr. Hallman tried again. He was able to attach it, and provided a little assistance during the next contraction, but Brynley stayed put. At that point, Dr. Hallman said he felt that, because of his concerns about her heart rate, he needed to do a cesarean. It was around 11:40PM. Almost immediately, a nurse pushed me out of the OR. I wish I could have given Stephanie a hug. I wasn’t even sure if Brian had a chance to speak with his wife before getting pushed out. We stood outside the OR and just waited for awhile. A nurse came and said that we’d need to wait in the family waiting area, so we went there. Then, we decided to go to the nursery. Deacon was there with his grandma, lying in the warmer while she just gazed at him adoringly. We told her what had happened. Brian didn’t want to eat or drink anything, he didn’t want to talk much or even hold Deacon until he knew that Stephanie and Brynley were OK. Those were his girls in there and his mind was on them. A few minutes later, a nurse walked in holding a little bundle. It was Brynley. She handed Brian his daughter and said that mom and baby had both done well, and that she had been born, crying, at 12:04AM. She had a different birthday than her twin brother. She was a beautiful, serene baby. Brian held both of his babies together. We took some pictures. It was a bittersweet moment. We were so aware that the most important person was missing from this moment. I recommended that no one but Brian hold Brynley until after Stephanie had had a chance to meet her, just so she could have that important skin-to-skin time with Stephanie, and get to know her mom’s smell first. Shortly after this, Brian, Pamela, and I took the babies to the postpartum room and waited anxiously for Stephanie. Pamela offered to stay, but we were told that Stephanie probably wouldn’t arrive until after 2AM, so she decided to go home to be with Kenzie. Brian held Brynley, and I had the immense honor of holding Deacon until Stephanie came back to the room at 2:30AM. She looked so strong and healthy, but she was overcome with emotions. I watched her meet her sweet baby girl. She had skin-to-skin time with her immediately, and then held her two babies. She nursed them a little and marveled at them. We all did. They were amazing. Stephanie was amazing. Throughout this time, I’ve gotten to know Stephanie, who I loved before, even better. I’ve met her sweet daughter, Kenzie, and her devoted and strong husband, Brian, as well as her incredible mother and adoring stepdad. I know how much love there is in this family for these lucky babies. Deacon and Brynley, your mom is incredible. She was so strong for you both, in different ways, and her heart grew twice the night you were born. It was the honor of my lifetime to be a part of this birth. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for including me in the beautiful experience of your babies’ births. Lots and lots of love to you all.
