Tips to help handle your postpartum journey...
A couple months back we discussed some conversations and provided some general tips to help you prepare for your postpartum journey. This blog is going to be a little more direct in the things we suggest that you DO and the things we suggest that you DON’T do.
We will end the blog by mentioning all of the things people don’t usually talk about when discussing the postpartum time. They are brutally honest but we believe strongly in Knowledge is Power and our biggest goal is to help you prepare for what the 4th Trimester may actually look and feel like.
During your postpartum journey you will most likely feel exhausted, grateful, overwhelmed, happy, emotional, scared, and in pain from recovering, all within the same time, and sometimes hour. The 4th Trimester is really, really hard! And your gratefulness doesn’t make any of the postpartum time easier. But that may be what keeps you going. Oh, and the baby snuggles and gassy smiles!
We spend a lot of time talking about the excitement of welcoming a baby and planning for our births, but it is vital to have real conversations around the reality of the postpartum time. Knowledge and setting realistic expectations can make all the difference!
So let’s get started..
What you should DO during your postpartum journey..
Of course as new mamas we are given PLENTY of unsolicited advice. Though most give this with good intention, it can be extremely overwhelming! Our suggestions here may not all be possible for everyone depending on their circumstances, but our hope is that if you are able to implement at least a few of these “DO” items, it will create a happier, healthier 4th trimester for both mom and baby.
Rest & Heal
We highly recommend that if you are able, you try the “5/5/5 Rule.”
The recommendation is that one spends the first 5 days after birth in bed: getting up only to visit the restroom, maybe taking time for a shower or sitz bath every now and then. If you can, have most of your meals are brought to you by a loved one and stay laying down.
For the next 5 days, spend time on the bed: a lot of napping or baby feeding on the bed, couch, or a chair on the porch. With frequent feedings throughout the night and the continued postpartum recovery, these naps are necessary, even if you’re feeling a bit more in the rhythm of things and getting antsy to move about.
Then, the final 5 days are spent near the bed: you’re continuing those skin-to-skin snuggles throughout the day and perhaps a bit more of a schedule with feeding your newborn that allows more time to move about the house more.
Eat Healthy Meals
It is important that your body is nourished! So many moms focus on every feeding with such vigor; how often is baby eating, how many ounces do I think/know they are getting, is my milk coming in, are they getting enough, ect. Try to prioritize what YOU take in as well mama! A healthy mama is necessary to continue providing nourishment for your little baby. And even if you choose or are unable to breastfeed, eating healthy will help with your body’s healing during the postpartum period.
Be Realistic
Realize that you are HUMAN! Having expectations to be the PERFECT mom right out of the gates (let’s be honest…ever) is unrealistic! You need to focus on what priorities are most important and not worry about getting everything right immediately. So one day…..or one week….you may not get any of the old house chores done that you used to get done in a matter of minutes before motherhood. That is OKAY! Your newest journey is a BIG one. Focus on taking each day at a time and try to cherish these moments. Believe us…everyone tells you it goes by so fast, and they aren’t exaggerating.
Find a Tribe you Trust
Having a strong support group postpartum is essential. Having a newborn while healing from a vaginal or cesarean delivery is TOUGH! Make sure that you have people around you who can support you both physically and mentally as you heal during this 4th trimester. No 2 people heal the same. It’s important to note that just because your cousin or sister had a simple recovery, doesn’t mean there is anything WRONG with you if you are having a more difficult time! Find people you can lean on and soak up all the help they want to give you. This is a season of life where it is important to not try to do it all alone.
Keep your Marriage/Partnership a Priority
Communication. Is. KEY! You may imagine looking at your co-parent with lovey-dovey eyes as you see them take on their new role….however it can be SO difficult! When you’re both sleep deprived and adjusting to caring for a little one, it can be easy to become edgy. And who is the person closest to you during all of this? Your significant other. Try to keep an OPEN LINE of communication. Speak to each other about how you’re feeling BEFORE you boil over. And when your partner tries to discuss their feelings with you, take the time to listen opening and acknowledge their feelings.
Prioritize Sleep
You hear everyone say sleep while the baby sleeps, which in reality is NOT often an option. That’s the time you take to get things around the house done or, if you’re lucky, get in that shower you’ve been craving for the last 3 days! All we can say is, if you get a chance, take it and soak up those Z’s! Sleep is important to help in your mental and physical healing.
Stay Hydrated
This one is pretty straight forward! Hydration is great for your body overall and now that there is a little human you are taking care of 24/7 it’s important to keep your system fueled. Plus, if you are breast/chest feeding or pumping, water is essential to maintain a good milk supply.
Feel all your Feelings
Let yourself feel all the feels. Becoming a mother is full of highs and lows! You now know what it means to feel like your heart beats outside of your body in the form of a tiny, sweet, little human being. Plus, your hormones postpartum….oofta!! Which leads us to our next point….
Give Yourself GRACE
This may seem redundant, but we feel it is worth reiterating. Give yourself GRACE in every way shape and form. Give yourself grace for being emotional. Give yourself grace for not doing “all the things” every day. Give yourself grace in adjusting to your new postpartum body. Just know, being a mother to your child is the most important job you will ever have and you are his/her whole world. That’s pretty amazing in our eyes.
Process your birth
Take the time to think back on all of the details. Let yourself feel however you truly do about the entire thing. Don’t feel the need to ignore it if there were parts of your birth that didn’t go as you had hoped. It’s okay to be happy to have your new baby but not have loved every aspect of how they came into the world! And if everything went exactly how you dreamed it would, congratulations! Enjoy reminicing and soaking up all of the sweet memories.
What you DON'T want to do during your postpartum journey.
Now for the things we advize AGAINST doing. Though we can all admit, we get into emotional ruts at different points in our lives, many of these are important things to give yourself grace on!
Beat Yourself Up
Whether it be about your new role as a mother and feeling inadequate, or whether it be able adjusting to your new postpartum form/shape. Try your best not to beat yourself up! Anyone who is a mother has gone through this initial phase and not ONE mama will tell you it’s a piece of cake.
Ignore Signs
If you feel yourself slipping mentally or physically, don’t ignore it. Reach out to your circle of trust and get the help you need at the first sign of trouble. Putting this off can result in very devastating circumstances. Your health as a new mama needs to be a top priority and those who love and surround you should support you in whatever way possible.
Avoid Asking for Help
Tying in to what we just said above, if you need it….ask for help! This is never a bad thing to do. Don’t try to do it all alone. The age old saying, “it takes a village” is there for a reason! Rely on your family and friends and seek help when needed.
Stop Communicating
Again, tying in with the above. Don’t cut off your partner/spouse. Many new mamas can begin to harbor feelings of resentment because let’s be honest…SO MUCH of the initial postpartum period relies on the birthing person! Be sure to keep an open line of communication as we said above, keep your partner a priority still too.
Plain and simple….try to avoid Google. Though it can be helpful at times, it can lead you down some stressful and scary rabbit holes. It’s better to ask friends/family/carelines for advice than to log online!
Lift Heavy or Intense Exercise
Pretty simple one again. Don’t over do it! Your body just ran a marathon whether your birth was vaginal or cecarean! Let yourself HEAL before you stress your system too much.
Become Overwhelmed with Breastfeeding
Breast/chest feeding is a FULL TIME JOB! Especially in the early days. Try your best not to become overwhelmed with the process. We know, easier said than done. If you find your mind getting stressed by each feeding, ounce, latch, ect, we recommend you speak with a lactation specialist to get the assistance you need! There are many amazing workers out there who can guide you on your feeding journey 🙂 Click HERE to read about How 2 Mom’s team Lactation Counseler!
Feel Bad about Choices
Don’t let ANYONE tell you how to raise your baby. This is YOUR little one. People give tons of advice to pregnant women and it for sure doesn’t stop when you become a new mama! Whatever you do, don’t let them persuade you into thinking you’re doing anything wrong.
Assume you are Alone
If you’re struggling postpartum, know this….you ARE NOT the first women to feel this way! So many mamas struggle. More often than not actually. It’s a beautiful phase of life for sure, but also a trying one! As we have said before, find your tribe and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Compare yourself to other Moms
So Suzie Q. down the street has a baby who has slept through the night since 4 weeks postpartum and she is already back to her “pre baby figure”…SO WHAT! We highly advise you to NOT compare yourself to any other mamas. Even your closest friends. You are your own person and your baby is their own person. No 2 people have the same postpartum period, so we urge you to STOP the cycle of mom-shaming/comparing and enjoy as much as you can about your new role.
That's all for today ladies and gents!
We hope that this blog has given you some useful guidance and advice for your postpartum/4th trimester. As always, we love hearing from our community! Be sure to comment below and know that we wish you all the best in these new days of motherhood.
How 2 Mom is helping you prepare for your Prenatal/Postpartum Days!
Have no fear, How 2 Mom is here! We have put together some AMAZING fave products of ours to help you through your prenatal/postpartum days as a mama. Click the image below to browse our shop! We spent MANY hours preparing gifts we knew would be useful and that we ourselves would have loved to receive as a pregnant/postpartum mom.
Not a mom for the first time? No worries! These goodies are for first time mamas…or even fifth time mamas! We hope you enjoy them as much as we do 🙂
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