There’s a lot of preparation that goes into welcoming a baby. There’s even more preparation when this isn’t your first child. Sibling transitions can be nerve-wracking and tough. I remember feeling like I was potentially ruining my oldest daughter’s life when I was pregnant our twins and her brother and sister. Okay, not really but the twin factor didn’t help in the anxiety and guilt. I’m sharing the things we did to help prepare her and the things that I feel made a difference in the transition.
Read Books to Prepare
There are so many books you can order off of amazon to help an older sibling prepare for and pregnancy, birth, and becoming an older sibling. We tend to be pretty open and honest in our household, so explaining the pregnancy journey, the trip to the hospital, and the returning home with a baby was important to us. I wanted McKenzie to feel prepared and wanted to give her as much information as possible so she felt open and able to ask any questions she had.
Buy a Present from Baby
It was fun to pick out and wrap up a special present just for the big sister from the babies to gift her the same day she met them. It was a way to express to her that the babies had been thinking about here and were just as excited to meet her!
Include the Older Sibling in Baby Activities
When taking care of a newborn, it is easy to get caught up in the day by day, or minute by minute to do’s, unintentionally leaving the older sibling to feel left out. Sayings like, “hold on, mommy has to change brother’s diaper!” This could leave then feeling like an outsider or not apart of the Baby Team. Rather, we purchased a baby doll just for McKenzie and anytime I would change a diaper or nurse a baby, I would invite McKenzie to join me and do the same with her baby. She really liked this!
Special Feeding Toy Box
Feeding a newborn takes a lot of time throughout the day and to ask a toddler or kid to keep themselves busy for that long is a lot to ask! Have a special toy box with all their favorites only for feeding times.
Check in with the Older Sibling(s)
Taking care of 2, 3, 4 kids is A LOT of work, I know! But try your best to find time to occasionally check in with the older siblings. Ask them how they are feeling? How they are liking having this new sibling. You can even ask the hard questions, like what they don’t like. This will give you great insight to how they are feeling and what they may need from you.
Feel the Emotions with Them
This transition is hard on everyone! It is important that your kids see you as a human, and humans have feelings! I remember a day when McKenzie was showing clear signs of needing my attention. It didn’t matter if it was negative attention from correcting behavior, because she just wanted attention from mom! She stormed off and ran into her room crying. Luckily I was able to put the babies down to check on her, alone. Instead of bringing up her behavior, I just hugged her. While comforting her I started crying as well. I remember the shock on her face when she noticed. She asked why I was crying and I was just 100% honest. I told her that I was having a hard time as well. That this transition was tough on all of us, not just her. That she was not alone, that we loved her and we would all adjust together, one day at a time.
Communicate: Be Open & Honest
Just like I stated above, communicate with your kids and often, even when they don’t seem interested. And be open and honest about your own emotions. This will normalize their feelings and make it more comfortable for the to express themselves.
Now I know every family and transition is different. These are just the tips that helped us and I hope one ore more may also help you. Congratulations on growing your family once again!
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