Well, shit really hit the fan last year!
Whenever I find myself in a stressful situation where I feel absolutely out of control, I tend to take to writing. My parents always instilled journaling into my life, and I’m so thankful for that. I am not a natural writer by any stretch of the imagination, but I do find writing out my thoughts and feelings to be very therapeutic. I am also thankful for the days I sit down and journal for the simple fact of looking back on my life. As I’ve gotten older, and now as a busy mom of three, I often forget the little things. Life, especially this season, goes by so fast and is so busy that I often forget details, thoughts or certain feelings.
Today, I am getting very personal and very vulnerable by sharing my journal through the pandemic. It’s nothing spectacular or ground breaking, and may be choppy because some journaling was done and that very end of the week and may just be notes I quickly jotted down so I didn’t forget, but I still think it’s important to share, the imperfection and all. I am sure a lot of moms and parents had these similar feelings through such an unprecedented time and the purpose of sharing is to help remind you of some of the events were were faced with last year, and to ensure you that you were not alone!
March 15-21
We celebrated McKenzie’s spring break but went to lots of places with Auntie Beth. Celebrated Twins’ birthdays and hosted their party. Kenzie was supposed to go back to school on Tuesday the 17th, originally they extended that through Wednesday the 18th, then Sunday it was declared that schools will remain closed through March 27th. Brian remained working but we were scared. He was being safe but school closings created his store to be a hangout. He worked through the week and then on Friday received a letter stating he could quit or take a 30% pay cut. We decided that he would take FMLA since Kenzie’s school was closed and my parents were still living with us. I spent Friday calling attorneys and the state to get our options and rights. I was very upset and scared! I tried to do my best and did some fun at home school projects.
March 21-28
Brian started staying home. I went to a birth and encapsulated 2 placentas. We took some car rides to deliver, visited Vermillion Waterfall when we delivered one placenta. Kenzie was sick which was scary and so was I. She didn’t come with to Vermillion. Fun at home with good weather and lots of walks. It was so nice to not be on a time crunch on our walks. I was thinking of ways to make money at home and change our packages since rules around attending births started changing. Started some organizing and home projects. Virus started to spread in MN. Fridge breaks down! Panic! Tried to fix, had someone out which was scary too. School is closed through April. Brian makes lots of calls for work, we cancel as many bills as possible and look into unemployment and grants. It’s hard with the kids to not show fear and worry but have to make calls with them around. Painted our upstairs. City curfew in effect.
March 29-April 4
Fridge search and panic continues. Put food in coolers and mini fridges. Some friends are so sweet and offer to borrow us their fridges. Hot water heater goes out. Are you kidding me! Dance online starts this week. Basement floods! What is happening! Virus is terrible and spreading. It’s all so sad! Virtual HH with sisters and friends. First official week of distance learning. Deacon gets mad when we walk by a park that he can’t play on. So Sad. Kenzie donates her money to our “situation” and says Fear should not be trusted!
April 5-11
Slept in and watched church. It was amazing. Friday felt really hard and crazy with the kids. Started virtual ECFE with the kids. Saturday’s weather helped with getting the kids out again. Home schooling is a hard transition. Painted basement bathroom and finished upstairs.
April 12-18
Celebrated Easter and a snowstorm! Redid our kitchen floor. Grammy and Papa left and moved back to the cabin. Taught myself how to braid! Lots of walks! Attended my first virtual birth. Gave money to the postman to say thank you. Started the front yard.
April 19-25
Afton Park with the family, worked on the yard. Parents came for a sleepover and a BBQ, we ended up ordering food and had margaritas! We had some really tough days with the kids. Going a little crazy and some poor behavior. Lots of yelling sadly. I had a postpartum visit with a client.
April 26-May 4
Deacon put the cleaning toothbrush in his mouth. Cleaned the windows and did some more decorating. Completed the front yard and planted seed! Worked a lot in the front yard. Parents came for another visit. Had some virtual work visits/meetings. Played outside over the beautiful weekend! Love having Brian home. He has been so patient with the kids. I think they are starting to listen more. Twins are wearing underwear and going potty on the potty. Still working on poop and pacis! Played cribbage with Brian. The kids have been learning to ride their bikes and scooters. I really think this time is going to make a difference in their lives and behavior. In a positive way!
May 5-11
Church and played baseball. (I think this may have been a hard week. I can tell I was exhausted by how very little I wrote.)
May 12-16
Celebrated Mother’s Day. Kenzie and Brian made it so special. Flowers and meals, rest and snuggles. Made a trip to Carefree. Worked on my course. Beautiful weather on Friday, getting frustrated with the kids and not listening, Brian went golfing and we all missed him a lot, nervous about him going back to work. Upset about Brian returning to work and how hard this is going to be. Feeling really tired, touched out and overly needed on Saturday.
May 17-23
My birthday. 35. Brian and McKenzie threw me a Luau party! it was so sweet and so much fun! I had envisioned a big party and gathering of friends for this birthday, as a lot of people did for their birthdays, but the pandemic didn’t allow for that. We had good food and drinks with my parents.
May 24-30
George Floyd is murdered, riots, protest, no sleep. Trip to the cabin to clear our mind. Tornado warning. Minneapolis is destroyed. Prenatal appointments, chiropractor visit, final week of school, Memorial day, Aunt Abi visited, walks, cleanse.
May 31-June 7
Brian’s Bday, Visited George Floyds’ memorial, lots of pool time, puppy, visit from grammy and papa, pick up items from school, school parade, prenatal appointments.
June 8-14
Brian is back to work. Hard couple of days.
I stopped journaling after Brian returned to work. I wish I could say that life returned to normal at that time as well, but that would be a lie. As I write this conclusion, life is still not back to normal. Not even close, but I’m not sure we will ever get back to “normal”.
Like I said, some of these entries may appear more like notes, but they are filled with memories, good and bad. And it was the best I could do through a pandemic and home with kids. Regardless, I hope reading through helps remind you of what those days were filled with in your household. Even through the tired and stress, some amazing thing happened and amazing memories made.
Love,
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